The Confidence Gap by Dr. Russ Harris

Book cover of the confidence gap by Dr. Russ Harris

 The Confidence Gap by Dr. Russ Harris: Book review

Confidence is one the most desired inner feelings that no human on the planet wants to let go off, but yet, in the current world, it has ended up becoming the most sought-after skill. Yes, skill!! “The Confidence Gap” by Dr. Russ Harris brings in an insightful book on this subject that can be helpful to the readers, if not life changing.

There’s no doubt that the concept of confidence differs person to person, mind to mind and no written rule can actually bring in that skill unless one’s own-self doesn’t wants it or tries to develop it. The book mentions a tagline to this whole affair- Confidence is ultimately a skillful psychological game and that’s the reason it wouldn’t be entirely wrong to tag the term confidence as a soft skill rather than just an internal feeling for the current world.

The key element mentioned in this book to overcome the dilemma of confidence is the “Acceptance and Commitment therapy” more commonly referred to as “ACT” in the profession of counselling. ACT is used to make humans accept feelings rather than fight against it and thus improve psychological flexibility.

In the introduction segment of the book, the author brings out his own story of turnaround from his childhood and teens into his mature adult stage and how he developed his own confidence and all through that how he noted what were the key elements that contributed to that change. This story is brief but impactful and can help readers gain positive inspiration to the read the book ahead.

The book is divided into five different segments namely; Warming up, the double- edged sword, what gets you going? taming your fear, and playing the game. Each segment concentrates on a different aspect that is related to the process of developing confidence.

The first segment – Warming up- consists of three chapters that concentrates on challenging popular myths about confidence. This section specifically showcases as to how values and goals are the stepping stones and plays a major role in developing confidence. It is in this section where in the author describes the concept of “Confidence Gap” which is nothing but a place one gets stuck when fear gets in the way of dreams and ambitions. In this section readers will come across the concept of the confidence cycle- that is the process of getting good at doing anything.  This cycle mentions the following steps:

• Practice the skills.
• Apply them effectively.
• Assess the results.
• Modify as needed.

Two rules that define the first segment as mentioned and explained by the author are:

• The action of confidence should come first and then the feeling of confidence.
• Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear; it is a transformed relationship with fear.

These rules have been effectively explained with examples in this segment and the reader will find the connection to everyday life.

The second segment that the author brings to us is – The Double-edged sword- in which the author showcases as to how negative thoughts and overthinking impacts confidence and how to handle such thoughts. This section specifically brings into action the importance of mindfulness and how one can use this to change one’s relationship with negative thoughts and perform task according to one’s values and goals.

The third segment that the author brings to us is – What  gets you going? - in which the author tries to showcase the fundamentals of self -motivation and steps to overcome psychological barriers. In this section, author emphasises again as to how one can use one’s values to motivate oneself and differentiate between goals and values helps clear confusion and negative thoughts.

The fourth segment that the author brings to us is – Taming your fear- where in the author tries to showcase how one can transform their relationship with fear and anxiety. The basic premise is set around the concept of changing and transforming one’s relationship with fear rather than getting rid of fear or overcoming fear. The segment brings out a process; Notice the feeling, acknowledge that it is there, make space for it, and expand awareness around the sensation. This can be done through mindfulness.

The fifth segment that the author brings to us is – Playing the game- in which the author tries to showcase how to use the new developed skills of values, mindfulness, acceptance, transformation of relationship with fear, together for genuine confidence, ongoing success and peak performance. This section is dedicated to complete action taking. The author showcases how getting out of one’s comfort zone by accepting challenges, taking action on emotions that is stopping one from performing, importance of getting better, and conquering for becoming a master rather than just achieving perfection, can ultimately help one can get the permanent emotion of confidence.

The book can be said to be a kind of therapy that many of the minds would be in need, but would run away as it would take effort, time and a lot of self- dedication, if not motivation.

The book was published in the year 2010. The world has changed since then but the key constraints that hold the mind back from developing or having the feeling of confidence remains the same. The process and steps mentioned in this book appear to be helpful but the ultimate impact would gain depend upon the reader, their values, their goals, their motivation and their relationship with fear and anxiety.

The book is reasonably sized of about 260 pages and it would take some time to complete the book if one is interested in learning from it. It would be advised to form mind maps or chronological notes to actually get the most out of this book and keep revisiting the notes to continue having the impact of the steps and rules.

The author has touched upon the critical and practical aspects of confidence building rather going all out scientific, bookish or even psychological. Readers will connect with each of the segments if they give time to reading in a chronological form.

 The language of the book is easy to understand and concepts have been divided into different chapters in each of the segments. This cannot be said to be a routine self -help book as it challenges a lot of concepts and learnings from thousands of self -help books that one would come across all over. It is more like a life exercise workbook.

An insightful and productive book.